


Mono no aware

by amuk



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Being Lost, Fear, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 16:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1824883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not your John,” John says. And it takes a small slip, a left instead of a right, and the ‘real’ John could end up like this. --Davesprite, John</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mono no aware

**Author's Note:**

> For: HS World Cup Bonus Round 2
> 
> Prompt: Davesprite/Doomed!John //Mono no aware (Japanese) - "the pathos of things", "sensitivity to the ephemera" or "an empathy towards things"; an awareness of a thing's impermanence, a wistful sadness of its passing, as well as a deeper sadness that this is the reality of life.
> 
> A/N: All I could think about is how easy it is to get on a doomed!timeline.

“I’m not your John,” John says, rubbing his head. If Dave—Davesprite, he has to remember his new name. He isn’t Dave anymore. He can’t be Dave here.

 

Not when the original, the beta, the real one is standing nearby.

 

If Davesprite ignores John’s words and just looks at him, it’s easy to still think of him as  _his_  John. Only the creepy white eyes ruin that image and whenever he closes them it’s so easy to forget.

 

The dream bubble warps around them and he sees earth for the first time in months. Years? He can’t quite remember how long he’s been away.

 

“I didn’t even make it to Prospit,” not John continues. “I guess we both will just have to keep looking.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Did you find anyone else?”

 

“Just others like you.”

 

Doomed John nods his head.  “Me too. I never knew there were so many of me until I died.” He looks over at John and Dave—real John and real Dave talking. John’s waving his arms, overly excited, and Dave’s covering his face with a hand, exasperated. “It’s strange.”

 

“A bit.”

 

“I thought I was the alpha till I died.” Dead John stops, thinking about it. “No, I didn’t even think that. Just assumed I was it. That it was all on me.” He laughs. “Good thing it wasn’t.”

 

“If it was ever only on  _John_ , we’d be doomed,” Davesprite adds.

 

Other John laughs harder. “True.” He sobers up. “Sometimes I wonder if I’ll find them here. Maybe they were left behind in that timeline and are still alive there.”

 

Davesprite doesn’t answer. His Rose—he’d like to think her gambit worked. That she isn’t all alone in an empty universe, wondering if he made it and if it’ll all work out. Sometimes, he can swear this Rose looks at him like she knows.

 

“So it’s up to them then.” John stares at the pair. Aside from the dead eyes and strange clothes, the two John’s almost mirror images of each other. Only one will never make it past thirteen. Not even the dream bubbles can accomplish that. “How do we know they’re the real ones, the main timeline?”

 

“We don’t,” Davesprite answers. There could be a tiny change here, a small decision that leads this group to a doomed timeline.

 

And he would never know till it was too late.

 

He hopes they are. That they’ll make it.

 

He doesn’t think he can handle failing again.


End file.
